So while I was freaking out internally, I remembered this thing you can do if you lose something. Basically you draw a cross--yes on one axis and no on the other. Then you hold a string with a weight at the end (in this case, I used my phone charm) and you ask yourself questions about where you might have left something. This is a way for your body to respond to things you picked up subconsciously. I didn't remember losing my keys, but maybe I actually did, just not consciously. So I asked "did I leave my keys in the library?" I started to swing on the axis for "no." I asked a few more questions and ended up asking "did I leave my keys in my room?" It pointed to "yes." I started to feel a little hopeful. Maybe I hadn't really lost them.
I decided to walk back to campus safety (which was conveniently located right next to my house), and ask to have my door unlocked. We get three free unlocks, I think, so I used up one. I had to wait a bit, but eventually someone got the keys and we walked over to my house. The front door was unlocked. Good. I was actually in the house, as I had been locked out before. WE walked up to my room, and the person unlocked my bedroom door. First thing I do it look towards my bed post next to the door, which is where I keep my keys. I see the red lanyard. Instant relief washed over me. They were in my room the whole time. My room is a mess, and it's slightly embarrassing to have someone I don't know see the filth (yes, filth). But, I couldn't be happier that I hadn't actually lost my keys. SO HAPPY!